Pic I took and edited in Barcelona a couple of years ago
Our Merckx,
Who art in Belgium,
The Cannibal be thy name,
The Alpe D’Huez come
Thy will be done,
In the peloton and among the poursuivants.
Give us this day our EMX-7
and forgive us our sticky bidons,
as we forgive those who draft behind us,
And lead us not into the bonk,
But deliver us up the Galibier,
For thine is the Giro, the Vuelta and the Tour,
For ever and ever,
Amen.
Apologies for adding to the mountain of analysis and opinion that the AV referendum has generated, but tonight, on the eve of the election I am going to lay out my (admittedly idealistic) reasons why I am going to vote “Yes” , albeit grudgingly.
My initial feeling is that if Tories oppose a motion then I will support it but this had no bearing this time on my choice. Neither do I want to give into the temptation to either get back at Clegg or Cameron, depending on my decision- short term acts of revenge can be self destructive in the long term, so the brief thrill of making my mark and leaving the polling booth having carried out an act of retribution has to be compared to the long term consequences. So my decision has not been based on simply showing my disgust at the policies of either the LibDems or the Tories- there is always plenty of opportunity to do that in other, more meaningful ways- self sabotage solves nothing. Despite the fact that most funding for No comes from Tory donors - http://bit.ly/lYdMbF - I tried to stay non-partisan.
The tactics of both the Yes and No campaigns left a lot to be desired but I did feel that the No was more condesending and patronising- basically either “AV is to complicated for you to understand so don’t worry your wee head about it” or even worse if you vote Yes you will kill babies:
While the Yes campaign hardly covered itself in glory with its coffee and beer ads with really hammy young actors, they were not a nasty as No. However again I did not want to be taken in by marketing and PR (public relations not proportional representation!) - I rage against these in other posts so the posters, leaflets and ads did not really contribute to my decision.
Of course it was tempting to vote “No” because AV is a poor relation of proper PR, and to vote for its implementation would mean we would never see a fairer more representative method of electing representatives, or so the more progressive voices seem to be saying. However this leads me on nicely to why I will be voting “Yes” with a heavy heart. One of the supposed weaknesses of AV is its tendency to create more coalition governments - although I do not necessarily agree that coalitions are all weak anyway. My argument runs thus:
1. We are only likely to have the opportunity to introduce fairer voting when we have a coalition government in power as the price of forming an alliance, as has happened- if the Tories had won clearly we would not be having this discussion- no one-party government is going to change the voting system that elected it.
2. The best way to ensure we have a good chance of another coalition in the future will be AV.
3. A stronger coalition may have more scope to push for full PR.
4. So in order to play the long game to bring about proper change we will have to swallow our pride and then build up a massive pressure campaign, so when the next general election comes around, those entering government will have to listen to the voices of those who elected them. While this may be idealistic, it is better than saying “No” now in the hope that the next government will bring in a better system- that is not going to happen to an administration that comes to power under FPTP.
I could go on about tackling other misinformation and misconceptions but when all is said and done these are my reasons why I will be voting Yes- the fact I will get to kick the Tories by doing so is just a nice side effect!
Election time again, and here in the north of Ireland we have the delights of not only electing Assembly Members but also deciding who is going to be responsible for ensuring our bins are emptied.
I have had the pleasure (!) of getting to know quite a few councillors over the past few years and, the odd intelligent one apart, I have to say the usual tribal sectarian head-counting has hoisted people to positions of power, who, elsewhere in the world, would simply be left to rock back and forth in a rocking chair spewing forth randomly generated Daily Mail and Sun headlines, safely out of harm’s way. But the fear that “themmuns will get in” if you don’t vote for your usual suspect even though they have been next to useless still means that manifestos can be boiled down to one basic quote- “We know this has no impact on the services your council will be delivering but if you don’t vote for me, the taigs/ huns will get in and you don’t want that, do you?”.
At the risk of sounding like Private Eye’s “Rotten Boroughs” feature I do feel it is time we strove to get more capable people into council- and I don’t mean the usual mix of businessmen, farmers and landlords. Again, I need to emphasise- some councillors do provide a decent service, but it is the eejits who can depend on votes without too much effort who still hold the reins of power. Am I being too hard on these dedicated workers for the community? Here are a few tales based on my personal experience and testimony of trusted colleagues- then decide if democracy NI style is working at council level:
Case study #1- I was the development worker for a youth project a number of years ago. We were getting it tight finding funding, so organised a meeting with a local councillor to see what could be done. Previously the project had developed a very successful road safety programme (that was then stolen wholesale by a statutory body but that is another story). The project engaged many young people who had no other outlet and was well respected, so we called into see this councillor to help fight our case. However he spent the whole meeting giving out because the project had brought the police in to talk about speeding and show how speed cameras work- a personal safety not political issue. This councillor, who was so concerned about opportunities for young people and their safety, talked non-stop about what a bad thing that was that young people should be exposed to the police- much better they drive like idiots and end up on the car roof! Basically he was prepared to see a popular and useful project like ours go to the wall- simply because we cared about the safety of our young people.
Case Study #2 - A councillor from a unionist party who sat on a Community Relations committee raised a right royal ruckus when her papers for the next meeting were sent to her with a green paper clip- I shit you not!
Case Study #3- The council were organising an (obviously rate payer funded) networking trip to Poland. Initially they were to get a direct flight which was also cheaper . The big problem for one unionist councillor was that it left from-gasp!- Dublin! No right thinking bigot could be seen going to the Free State to get a flight. The end result- the councillors and staff had to get a more expensive flight from Belfast and change in London- losing half a day each way- so the trip cost more for less time spent promoting the local area.
Case Study #4- I don’t know who is worse in this situation- the councillor or the newspaper who printed his comments without thinking. Due to an increase on accidents on a particular stretch of road he blamed migrant workers and foreign lorry drivers since, and I quote, “They are so used to driving on the other side of the road their instinct is to swerve into the paths of other vehicles rather than away”- so there you go- I always thought most of us would instinctively swerve away from danger no matter what direction it came from- I’m obviously wrong!
So there you have it- just some of the lovely individuals who will be trying their hardest (ie printing leaflets in either red, white and blue or green, white and orange and sending them out) to ensure you vote for them- after all we have to keep themmuns out!
I may have mentioned it once or twice (!) but I attended a couple of Billy Bragg gigs last week (and finally got to meet my hero)
but during one of his famous between songs sermons, as an aside he stated that Trots lack a sense of humour, not the first time I heard that accusation made (Mark Thomas made similar comments when I first saw him a few years back). Now as anyone who knows me will testify, I hate lazy stereotyping but I also have to agree that, often, stereotypes do often contain a kernel of truth.
Recent performances by those who would fall into the broad category of being a “Trot” in the public eye did not help this perception. Bob Crow appeared on BBC’s “Have I Got News For You” and C4 “Ten O’Clock Live” and came across as a humourless individual, who only wanted to engage with people to shout at them. I have a lot of time for Crow, having heard him deliver an exciting and heartfelt speech on a wet and windy May Day in Belfast last year, a lesson in oratory that inspired a soggy and cold bunch of demoralised TU members and public sector workers to march with a spring in our step and ready to tackle cuts head on, rather than lie down and take it as the Tories and mainstream media would like. But we are trying to build a movement, to make it attractive to everyone. I don’t mean that Bob should don a red nose and pair of over-sized shoes, but the more he comes across as full of bluster (even though it is justified) he also fulfils the stereotypical role of the union leader that many in the public have as a troublemaker full of self-interest not as a stuanch defender of ordinary people, their opinions and perceptions having been moulded by years of anti-TU propaganda spewed forth by Tories and most newspapers.
Now I am one of the first to detest the Public Relations led approach to politics that has resulted in style ruling over substance, but the left really needs to think about how we are perceived- as humourless and out of touch, more interested in academic discussions about dead Russians than engaging in real struggle. Now I know there is more to the left than that- we do great grassroots work and most of the smartest, funniest comedians are from our side of the fence- Mark Thomas, Mark Steel (up until a few years ago as an SWP member a proper “Trot” ), Jeremy Hardy… we can do funny while not selling out our core beliefs and principles. A few examples from my own experiences can illustrate my point further- a few years ago, before the start of a May Day demo, I was helping other fellow party members put up some posters. We arrived at the meeting point for the rally and saw an ideal place to hang them- the fella I was with said “C’mon we’ll take over these poles”. I replied (quite quickly for me!) “Be careful- the last person to say that was Hitler and look what happened to him”. Now I expected perhaps a polite groan or a smile if not a brief laugh (it is hardly Dara O’Briain or Bill Hicks-esque material!)- instead I got a serious “Actually that’s quite good” followed by a mini-treatise that analysed why lefties are perceived as having no sense of humour. My answer, muttered under my breath, that it is exactly because we spend so long bloody doing a content analysis on jokes rather than simply enjoy them, was lost to the traffic noise behind us.
A second experience happened as I showed up for an anti-rascism gig in 2004. I had been inter-railing in Eastern Europe so hadn’t been about for a while. One of the group asked where I had been so I began explaining my route, saying I had flown into Trieste- he then interrupted me to say “Oh, so Italy is in Eastern Europe now, is it?” before I could discuss my route into Croatia to start my trip properly. He then moved on, leaving me feeling like shit on his shoe- not a good way to try and build up a revolutionary popular movement!
So while we are at crisis point, with dark economic news everywhere and a Tory government going even further than even Thatcher ever dared, it may seem that we should be taking things more, rather than less seriously- having just received news this week that my own job may not exist after June, that could be expected. But this is a vital time for the left- the New Labour project that was the epitome of style over substance is dead in the UK, the United Left Alliance made great gains in the south , people are being politicised again, broad links are being made as popular resistance spreads- this presents us with a great opportunity to bring about the changes that are required. But to do this we need to build the movement and attract as many people as possible. By acting as if we have broom handles up our arses and refusing to engage on a human level, recognising that not all basic human interaction has to be based on debating the Grundrisse, and realising its okay to crack a joke every now and then, listen to the odd love song, watch the occassional epsiode of Family Guy… we will scare fewer off and be a more attractive propostion, making it easier to establish that broad support needed to move thing on to the next level.
Belfast director, producer, writer and cameraman Wee Kevvy has another critically claimed success on his hands. The auteur has followed up his last piece de resistance “Tucker aff his beak on eccies and Bucky” with a new documentary drama entitled “Wee Rodney getting bate by the Peelers”. This latest production incorporates some very individual and artistic cinematography, and stands as a offering to the ages, chronicling the alienation and oppression of the eponymous hero by the evil state apparatus, that is bent on denying him the opportunity to express his nihilist and anarchistic aspirations. Indeed the key, climatic scene where Rodney is pulled into the back of the PSNI landrover is surely as realistic a re-imagining of violence as has ever been captured on celluloid.
Wee Kevvy actually took time out of his busy schedule “chasing wee girls to get ma hole and getting some older ones to go to the offy” to discuss his cinematic masterpiece. “Fuck, aye, it was great crack alright. Themuns had wee Rodney and says to him gis yer beer and he says fuck aff and gives them the finger and themuns says ye wee shite and scoops him and pulls him into the meat wagon and then they bate him with their sticks and shit- them bastards knocked his fuck in- ballbegs”.
When pressed on his production values and techniques that so represent the dernier cri typifying the zeitgeist, Kevvy stated “aye -ah just filmed it on this mobbi I tuck from this wee ‘un walking past the shops- me brawer stuck it on the oul bebo and youtube for me at tech”.
Kevvy was asked how he would follow up such a widely acclaimed work and was adamant there would be one- he was batting a few ideas through the creative morass that typifies the angry young social commentator - “Ach I’ll probably video writing saying “UTH” and stick some Eminem behind it and call it “Up The Hoods”- with a few piccies of me an me muckers blew out if it and finish it with “Fuck the peelers” at the end- that or some wee bit flashing herself- nat sure yet!”
This seems to indicate Wee Kevvy is taking a more art-house direction in direct contrast to his high concept action blockbuster that first made his name “Joyriders-yeoo!”. The realistic dialogue and highly effective stunt-work in that production attracted nearly 27 comments on Youtube, split between critical acclaim from those intellectual enough to see the post-modernist sub-text running through the 1 min 12 seconds of the film (measured with comments suchs as “uP the h0odz fuk da copz- west Blefast gang-banger$”) and those who prefered a more simplistic reading (“Piss off you wee spidey hooding bastards-hope the Ra kneecap ye all”).
So this latest piece, weighing it at an epic 2 minutes 45 seconds still contains enough to keep all but the most anodyne on the edge of the seats for the whole duration. The cultural references and sparing use of bricolage really set this young man up as someone to watch in the future- watch out the Academy Awards- wee Kevvy will be picking up an Oscar before you know it!
Nice to see everyone has their priorities sorted at a very interesting time in history- 3rd most popular story on BBC website at the moment can be summarised as “Man helps other man push broken down car”- while we still have celebrities, it seems, we have no need to fear or be angry at bankers, the City or the ruling elite…
